travel poetry

....as it does, change shuffles things around. it reorganizes. cleanses. it allows for the dust of things gone by to be rustled up a bit, in order to settle back down into the right place.

here, for you, are a few of the gusts, some scribbles i found, written along my journey from the bottom east to the top west (of the globe).

....

stain

It’s easy to let your mind wander
Into the deepest of darkest depths
For a memory to fade when you wonder
Into a thickening, blackening stain.

The unfortunate role of the pictures
To hold truth within the colours inside
So powerless when the story
Gets skewed, strangled and cast aside.

If only to stand there again now
With the blankets of bad thoughts removed
Under the umbrella of all the emotions
To cup the essence, restore all that stood

What a bright day it will be when the goodness
In all of the darkness passed
Emerges from under the molehill
Set free for the moments to last.

love chip

Is there a place where my love can go
A city inside of another heart’s hole
Is there a place it can seed and grow
A place wide and warm without walls or stones

Is there a place where my love can stay
Safe in a nectar of more love to make
Is there a place it is free to play
Young and fearless with no want to stray

Is there a place where my love can go
This little chip lost long ago.

toxic waste

Squish it like a sponge and let the dirt run out
If only my shield deflected toxins the way it cages my heart
So soft now the space between, not heavy like before
But that’s the trick, the light from thick, that keeps us coming back for more

I worry it’s not right and so I tell it to me once again
Curled up on the inside like child resisting sin
So open, here, I wish to be, unlonely like before
But I ward it off when it creeps closer in, just before it’s reached the core

Let time filter all I think, for the answers to hit the floor
Like a pinch here in this dreamy world where instances run thin
Then I’ll paint it in the sky with clouds, just like I’ve done before
And my lungs will fill, like two balloons, the keys to every door.

...

dark, dirty and past. that cleanse was due!

'til the next dose,

f:)

home sweet home...

ahhhhh....i'm here. "home". how sweet it is.

i left melbourne just over a month ago, headed to the land of lakes on a roundabout, let's-stop-everywhere-along-the-way tour. which included places that were not along the way, titled the "sweet home tour". i figured i might as well sneak past some of the people and places i've come to know on my way waaaay down under (like taiwan, california, vancouver, pefferlaw (!?), ottawa, montreal, toronto....and sudbury). little did i know this musical tour would grow to be quite the journey...

the pre-departure period in melbourne was delicious. filled with hearty dinners and heartier conversations, wonderful jams, arty projects, exciting tourganization and much needed calm in my safe space before the stormy unknown of new familiar land. leaving a city i love was as hard as ever, but knowing i'd be back soon and often gave me peace of mind as i took off to taiwan.

so there i was, staring out at the smoggy super-city, back before being home again - in taiwan. a city and home i'd left in a rush, almost two years ago, off to oz, with no looking back. but i was back! crazy feeling to be standing on taiwanese soil again. too good, which surprised me and excited me...and relieved me. we totally made peace. taiwan and i are as tight as ever now, and i love it. so, on with this feeling i slammed into four days filled with three wonderful shows - solidifying the fact that taiwan is, well, awesome. and the people who flock to, are, well, awesome too. the support and turnout were unbelievable. so much so, that i'm already planning my next tour-return. it felt like i'd never left (which is kind of what being back in a place you once lived in always feels like...but in asia it was a whole new level of it. i mean, i was driving a scooter around again - so gooood!). the connections and reconnections made were more than i bargained for on my tiny little tour-stop. i could've stayed another month and it wouldn't have been enough...but i suppose that is the sneaky little spell taiwan is known for.

so i left, unfulfilled, but grateful for so many answers the tiny island provided during my mini-stay. and in california i was, under the sun, basking in perfect-weather-comfy-ness. i was greeted by my fabulous brother and his fiance, with giant smiles and hugs - the first taste of family in two years. ahhhmazing. it felt so good to just be. we caught all the way up, and jammed our little hearts out in time for our first show a few days after my arrival. having neil behind me on drums was like stepping back into your favorite pair of shoes. i can't think of a good adjective for it right now...but it was grrreat. getting over jet lag was grrreat, too. so was checking out the hollywood sights and nightlife, and some fabulous live music (from new friends jen & abby, and oz stunner mia dyson). the second show was lovely lovely. it was great to catch up with some friends and family who made the trek, and have a final stage session with neil before heading north...and closer to home. speding some quality time with the nearly-weds was just what the travelin' muso ordered. soulfood.

landing in canada was an incredible feeling. it felt like a big giant hug. really, it did. overhearing normal, everyday canadian expressions was the weirdest thing. weirdly awesome. i hadn't even realized that some of the strings of words (most) that come out of my mouth are purely canadian...until now. i was literally giggling my way to the baggage pickup, like a madwoman - so insanely overjoyed with being "back home". oh what a feeling.

the mountains, as majestic as ever, are truly the coolest backdrop. and the air here! so thick, and...oxygenated (is that a word?! it must be...there isn't a little red line telling me it isn't. either way, it's definition should read: western canadian air). so i took many a deep breath. and many a deep stare. a good thinking space, vancouver is. after dropping off my bags, i decided to take a nightly stroll on commercial drive...and within minutes, mere hours from touchdown in canada...i ran into a friend on the street. a really good friend, from university. a close neighboor, and one of my favorite people. soooo, canada really IS this small!! sheesh. the reunion was as obnoxious as it deserved to be. too good. needless to say, the show the following night was filled with similarily awesome people from different parts of my life - a sort of reunion for moi. the rest of the week was spent in many a mountainous nook and cranny up in whistler, with an oustandishly super crew. i did not want to leave and cannot wait to get back.

this pattern followed in ottawa and montreal, following an amazing weekend at the eaglewood festival near lake simcoe in ontario - where i was reunited with the rest of my family....and more family(!) who made a surprise appearance, enhancing the whole fab-festy experience. the weekend was a showcase of seriously potent canadian talent. it was an honour to have been in the mix. in amongst this bag of treats, i managed to swindle a little backline drum/bass duo for my gig a few nights later in montreal (the magnifique lyndell montgomery and adam lalonde, who make up two thirds of captain dirt and the skirt), which, apart from a scary sound system was magic. as was my week with besties in ottawa, another dose of homey-ness.

between the special rides and stays with friends, new and old, i had managed to squeeze a whole lot of perspective into my limited baggage, just in time for the last show on the tour - toronto.

this final "sweet home" gig was truly heartwarming. i mean, sure, i've been pumping every online networking site imaginable for like, a decade now (not really), but sheesh - that was overwhelming. the support, turnout, energy and response was just unreal. like a dream (the kind you try to fall back asleep into when you wake up from it). i am so grateful that i will forever have the memory of stepping onto the stage and looking out at that room full of amazing people from all parts of my life. how lucky am i. and to have been able to tell them that i'll be sticking around for a little while...!...not rushing off to make some other far-away-land my home...but here, in fact - "toronto". such super words to spit. a moment in time.

so now i sit, in sudbury, my hometown, where i plan to spend september decompressing, regrouping and reconnecting - cleansing. yesterday, i spent almost twelve hours going through boxes and bins in a closet that contains my life story. so i went through. bit by bit. and relived my life from the moment i left nearly four years ago, backwards to the beginning. letting go of all things unecessary. all things that no longer energize me, bring me joy, or bring me good - nearly half. i realized in doing this, that it was a mere continuation of the thread of decisions i'd been making since i stepped on the plane out of australia. it just so happens that i've been re-evaluating my entire life up until this point, and all things in it. the "journey" home has been littered with tiny signs, answers, realizations, all pointing to a fresh new start. the next chapter.

i knew there was something very special about the feeling i had when the decision to move home was made. home is a whole new set of sweet.


mmm.


to infinity and beyond!!!
f:)

shedding skins

Oh to shed all of my skins
Left only within
With bones
And my Self all alone

Freeze this moment in time
And let it fall back in line
When my emotions have thawed
Long enough to feel

Let the words that have served
But as fallen debris
Teach that peace can bring out the pure

f:)

it's not that i don't know it

it’s not that i don’t know it
got my shoes all tied up for it
it’s not that i’m trying to hide behind
or fade away into the next day
fill me fill me, feel me say it
i’m a brick of walls now you come spray it
Over me

it’s not that i don’t know it
crossed the fences just to mow it
it’s not that i’m trying to justify
the reasons i don’t feel i own it
pull me pull me, poll my credit
i’m the first draft now you come edit
all of me

oh, you don’t look me in the eye
when you’re talking to me
oh, how you look up at the sky
when you’re thinking about it
oh, if you’d hold me like you want to
then I’d want you, too.

it’s not that i don’t know it
wrote the words down like a poet
it’s not that i’m trying to to deny
the feelings i can’t seem to finish
tell me tell me, toil me in it
you be the end and i’ll begin it
new to me

it’s not that i don’t know it
changed the pictures just to frame it
it’s not that i’m trying to realize
through tired eyes that i’m too good for it
spoil me spoil me, spin me through it
i’m a pool of dreams now you sift through it
Carefully



f:)

trust

when all else fails only i’ll remain.
again and again and again and again…
right here where i’ve stood, split-lipped just the same.

i tried to shrink my heart for you.
wore it thin wore it thin wore it thin wore it thin…
but i’m weak now, so cold, out here on this limb.

i tried turning the page but it all reads the same.
who’s to blame who’s to blame who’s to blame who’s to blame…
same bloody history. i see both of our names.


where’s the harness i’ve been blessed with?
at home, far away.
it kept me still, snagged my running,
but safe, there to stay.
narrowed eyes focused lightly on the truth,
always there.
every word like a root, meant deep,
always bare.


i will trust.
because i must.
it’s the only way I can.
i will survive it.
i will deny it.
but i may have to leave again.

in the rough where the diamond sits...

Out in the rough where the diamond sits,
The search ends in this haven, a perfect fit.

Two handfuls of lost souls, found here under the sun,
This cycle, survival, the only one.

A carpet of trees shades us all underneath,
In the depth of the valley, where minds seep through teeth.

No thoughts unwelcome, only safe to grow strong,
In this salad of stories that go on, and on, and on.

Honey and Salt

It reminded me of you,
And like honey I knew,
I’d pour myself on,
The line we walk upon.

It’s the pounds and pounds of salt,
In the water,
That’s holding me back,
But it’s not pushing back.

If the world is an oyster,
Why do you feel so far.
If you gave me a boat,
Well I’d take your boat,
But I wouldn’t sail it to where you are.

If you gave me a boat,
Well I’d take your boat,
And I’d sail myself around,
This island right here,
That I’m standing on, dear,
In between lost and found.

If you’re sad,
Add salt to the water.

If the world is an oyster,
Why do I feel so far.
If you gave me a boat,
Well I’d take your boat,
But I wouldn’t sail it to where you are.

If you gave me a boat,
Well I’d take your boat,
And I’d sail myself around,
This island right here,
That I’m standing on dear,
In between lost and found.

tram poetry

he sits like a stone,
on the parkbench alone,
no letters, no sweaters,
just cold and alone.

she sits and she reads,
all wrapped in her beads,
through the pages she pleads,
for their lives to lead.

he sits like a preacher,
this picture his teacher,
through short cries and long sighs,
he hopes he can reach her.

f:)

thought-for-food

hey friends!!

no preach intended, here...just thought this was a very interesting little blackboard scribble...

...and thought i'd pass the peace-full thought along...

hope you do too,
f:)

om

tied up are the ends
that were flailing about
the strings unattached
i wander without

those days are behind me
so long seemed the stride
but a mere step got me here
where the answers collide

my bag is heavy to bear
filled with beautiful, useless things
my mind: open, unloading
with the help this journey brings

i asked It a question
and It lead me to 'here'
halfway, i suppose
to It all being clear.